flowersofnight wrote:
holylampposts wrote:
And I really, truly, don't think that parents should only talk about the misdeed with their kids, because if talking is all that happens, kids will eventually zone parents out.
Depends what kind of talking! In Japan, mothers
shame their misbehaving children, like "What would other people think of this" and similar.
I'm really not making this up.
My mother 'shames' me into doing stuff, quite literally. Now, it demotivates me because I taught myself into thinking for myself and to not be effected by what people say about me. After all, she's just using me as a trophy daughter and nothing more, and I really don't appreciate that. =P Especially when I'm being compared to my younger cousins (with mothers who have different parenting styles, might I add).
But back to the point; Spanking is acceptable in some cultures, but not in the society i'm living in. For example, Spanking is a norm in the Philippines, and everyone experiences it, so there is no social stigma. Spanking in North America shapes the child differently, because they are socialized in school and by the media differently.
Personally, I'm more likely to listen to my father than I am my mother, not because i'm afraid my dad will smack me (he never has,) but because I respect my dad and I feel incredibly guilty for doing something bad, because he's just such a cool guy and he doesn't deserve to feel bad or be responsible for something I've done. For me, that's punishment enough.
If I do something bad, actually, I'm more scared of what my mother would say, because she would just make me feel worse than I already do, and that would de-motivate me from doing better, because she doesn't appreciate/take into account for long, the positive things I do. My reward for doing something good is silence, and my punishment for doing something bad is an earful of stuff I seriously don't need to hear. X_x
Back to the point again. @_@ Spanking only makes sense as a punishment until about middle school. After that, it would just be humiliating, and by then the child would realize consequences anyway...