Spanking, the Great Debate

Should parents spank their kids?

  • Yes, always

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Yes, depending on what the child did

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No, never. Supply an alternative.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0

holylampposts

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Do you believe parents should spank their kids? And don't confuse spanking with a beating, because I'm not asking about parents beating kids, I'm asking about spanking.
 

PureElegance

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Einherjer wrote:
no, but they should be beaten every once in a while
For what?

Spanking is stupid and it doesn't do anything to teach the child. What good does it do to the child? Doesn't it just get them scared? I think its more stupid than sending a child to their room as a punishment.

In my opinion, it doesn't do anything good for the child except hurt them mentally and give them the wrong message about punishments and anger.

and didn't you know spanking leads to sex problems? ::meev::
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/stroller ... blems.aspx
 

holylampposts

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Alright: Time for me to take the pro-spanking side. I think spanking is a good thing, and probably the most effective means of disciplining a child too young to really feel the effects of and understand alternatives.

I think that pain, if administered consistently for some action, will put an end to the undesirable behavior and as an extension, teaches children that the parent is the boss and the child is subordinate.

I see the benefits of spanking in my own family: My sister and I were spanked as kids, and grown into honest, respectful people, whereas my younger brother, I can only recall once when he was spanked, and it was barely anything, does as he wants and is essentially the master of my parents.

PE brought up that spanking scares a child, and I definitely agree, but kids should be fearful of the punishments that misbehavior requires.
 

Mademoiselle Folie

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No way, the kids have a mind and reasoning capacity to understand the things once you explain them well. If the children "misbehave", it's because of the bad education of the parents. If the parents are not mature enought to bred a child, of curse they will get desperate and they will try beating them or spanking them.

There's nothing that would justify the violence and the less against children. There are other ways of make a child "feel the effects and understand alternatives" than beating or even spanking.

holylampposts wrote:
PE brought up that spanking scares a child, and I definitely agree, but kids should be fearful of the punishments that misbehavior requires.
there are too much other ways to keep the kids afraid of the punishment than spanking.
 

Requiem Dreams

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For very young children, I see no problem with spanking. In my own personal experience, I was never afraid, just upset I was being punished. Before I was spanked, my misbehavior was explained to me. Afterwards I was put in a time out so I could think about whatever had happened. The spanking was never really a focus, it was that ten or so minutes I had to sit down without talking. Once children begin to understand how they have misbehaved, time out and a talk should be enough. The spanking's not even really necessary.

tl;dr
If you spank your kids, be sensible about it.
 

navate

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Holylampposts: Anecdotal evidence really doesn't mean much. I was never spanked that I can recall because I never got into trouble. I'm a responsible, honest person because my parents taught me to value those things. Not because I was or was not spanked.

I have no problem with the occasional swat, but overall I think it's an excuse for poor parenting. If you need to scare or hurt your kid to make them learn how to behave, what kind of adult does that make you?
 

holylampposts

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navate wrote:
Holylampposts: Anecdotal evidence really doesn't mean much. I was never spanked that I can recall because I never got into trouble. I'm a responsible, honest person because my parents taught me to value those things. Not because I was or was not spanked.
I'm not saying that spanking is the only way for children to learn those qualities, but I'm saying that, from my own experience, I see the punishment as a big part of how I learned. You brought up that you were never spanked because you never got into trouble, so I can understand that you never needed to be spanked to learn to value honesty and responsibility. Of course spanking isn't the only way to teach children, but I think that for those kids who can't learn on their own, spanking is a good reminder.

My siblings and I were those kind of kids, and the punishment was a good reminder. Sure, things could have been taken away from us as a grounding, but being such little kids, we would've found something new to entertain us with, and the grounding would've amounted to nothing. And I really, truly, don't think that parents should only talk about the misdeed with their kids, because if talking is all that happens, kids will eventually zone parents out.

Age wise, I think that spanking is effective until age 7-8 and after that, grounding and other punishments should be the focus.
 

Phantom Pabulum

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holylampposts wrote:
Of course spanking isn't the only way to teach children, but I think that for those kids who can't learn on their own, spanking is a good reminder.

i dont know but from where I live spanking is still a pretty common accepted way of teaching kids - if not the expected way. They sell these wooden canes everywhere and they really hurt. It's has a small surface area.

I got caned as a kid but then again I dont recall that sparking a change in me. I mean, i wasn't caned for rebellious behavoir or skipping class - I just wasn't motivated to do well for math in school and I was caned for not doing my homework. The education system here is unforgiving - especially for kids. Anyway, caning only made me dread the subject more - it was only when i went to secondary school I had this teacher who motivated me and then I did well in my math, for the first time in my life.

Still, I think smacking can still be an effective way of teaching, in some issues, i dont know. I'm torn.
 

flowersofnight

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holylampposts wrote:
And I really, truly, don't think that parents should only talk about the misdeed with their kids, because if talking is all that happens, kids will eventually zone parents out.
Depends what kind of talking! In Japan, mothers shame their misbehaving children, like "What would other people think of this" and similar.
I'm really not making this up.
 

Taku

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no never!

luckily it's forbidden to spank kids (in germany) - at school and at home - though it seems many people don't really care which is sad

My father used to spank me .. I'm still don't have a normal relationship with him and i think I'll never have .. spanking made me to things which he hated just to hurt him - i've beaten up others just to lose my anger

I like my father but I can't and i don't want to forgive him and I think that he doesn't feel ashamed of what he did at all
 

PureElegance

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holylampposts wrote:
Of course spanking isn't the only way to teach children, but I think that for those kids who can't learn on their own, spanking is a good reminder.
But isn't that giving the wrong reason for the kid not to do wrong again? I think that the only reason they'd correct themselves would be to avoid the spanking, not because they learned about what they did wrong.

I come from a Hispanic family and in South America, parents spank a lot and its a common thing there. But since I was born in the US, I didn't understand its purpose at all and I was really scared of it. I understood if I got spanked for something that I did wrong, but I didn't understand it when I got spanked for not being able to solve a math problem. The only reason for behaving well was just so I could get out of spanking, but even then I behaved bad. After a while I got used to it; I'd cry for a few minutes and forget about it. Then I'd behave bad again.

I didn't get anything out of spanking, it just made me decide that I'd never do that when I had my own kids. I only changed how I was (years later) by finding a role model to follow, not through spanking.

(spanking isn't that bad compared to the beatings I've witnessed, but I still don't like it.)

navate wrote:
I have no problem with the occasional swat, but overall I think it's an excuse for poor parenting. If you need to scare or hurt your kid to make them learn how to behave, what kind of adult does that make you?
I agree :B
 

holylampposts

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flowersofnight wrote:
In Japan, mothers shame their misbehaving children, like "What would other people think of this" and similar.
Oh, yeah! I forgot about that stuff. That, I think is F'd up.
 

Lem

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My siblings and I all got spanked until we started hitting grade school. Then it just turned into yelling and being put on really shitty restrictions.
 

holylampposts

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PureElegance wrote:
But isn't that giving the wrong reason for the kid not to do wrong again? I think that the only reason they'd correct themselves would be to avoid the spanking, not because they learned about what they did wrong.

I come from a Hispanic family and in South America, parents spank a lot and its a common thing there. But since I was born in the US, I didn't understand its purpose at all and I was really scared of it. I understood if I got spanked for something that I did wrong, but I didn't understand it when I got spanked for not being able to solve a math problem. The only reason for behaving well was just so I could get out of spanking, but even then I behaved bad. After a while I got used to it; I'd cry for a few minutes and forget about it. Then I'd behave bad again.

I didn't get anything out of spanking, it just made me decide that I'd never do that when I had my own kids. I only changed how I was (years later) by finding a role model to follow, not through spanking.

(spanking isn't that bad compared to the beatings I've witnessed, but I still don't like it.)
I don't think it matters so much why kids try to avoid being spanked as much as it does that they want to avoid being spanked. I think as long as there's an age-appropriate, working punishment for some thing parents don't want kids doing, the action will always be undesirable.

I come from a Hispanic family, too, and I think that's why I value spanking, and also because I was (mostly) only spanked when it was merited. There are things I still see as being unfairly punished for, but I don't think that my parents opinion on when to discipline should deter me from using what I consider a successful method.
 
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