holylampposts
-member-
Do you believe parents should spank their kids? And don't confuse spanking with a beating, because I'm not asking about parents beating kids, I'm asking about spanking.
For what?Einherjer wrote:no, but they should be beaten every once in a while
there are too much other ways to keep the kids afraid of the punishment than spanking.holylampposts wrote:PE brought up that spanking scares a child, and I definitely agree, but kids should be fearful of the punishments that misbehavior requires.
I'm not saying that spanking is the only way for children to learn those qualities, but I'm saying that, from my own experience, I see the punishment as a big part of how I learned. You brought up that you were never spanked because you never got into trouble, so I can understand that you never needed to be spanked to learn to value honesty and responsibility. Of course spanking isn't the only way to teach children, but I think that for those kids who can't learn on their own, spanking is a good reminder.navate wrote:Holylampposts: Anecdotal evidence really doesn't mean much. I was never spanked that I can recall because I never got into trouble. I'm a responsible, honest person because my parents taught me to value those things. Not because I was or was not spanked.
holylampposts wrote:Of course spanking isn't the only way to teach children, but I think that for those kids who can't learn on their own, spanking is a good reminder.
Depends what kind of talking! In Japan, mothers shame their misbehaving children, like "What would other people think of this" and similar.holylampposts wrote:And I really, truly, don't think that parents should only talk about the misdeed with their kids, because if talking is all that happens, kids will eventually zone parents out.
But isn't that giving the wrong reason for the kid not to do wrong again? I think that the only reason they'd correct themselves would be to avoid the spanking, not because they learned about what they did wrong.holylampposts wrote:Of course spanking isn't the only way to teach children, but I think that for those kids who can't learn on their own, spanking is a good reminder.
I agree :Bnavate wrote:I have no problem with the occasional swat, but overall I think it's an excuse for poor parenting. If you need to scare or hurt your kid to make them learn how to behave, what kind of adult does that make you?
Oh, yeah! I forgot about that stuff. That, I think is F'd up.flowersofnight wrote:In Japan, mothers shame their misbehaving children, like "What would other people think of this" and similar.
I don't think it matters so much why kids try to avoid being spanked as much as it does that they want to avoid being spanked. I think as long as there's an age-appropriate, working punishment for some thing parents don't want kids doing, the action will always be undesirable.PureElegance wrote:But isn't that giving the wrong reason for the kid not to do wrong again? I think that the only reason they'd correct themselves would be to avoid the spanking, not because they learned about what they did wrong.
I come from a Hispanic family and in South America, parents spank a lot and its a common thing there. But since I was born in the US, I didn't understand its purpose at all and I was really scared of it. I understood if I got spanked for something that I did wrong, but I didn't understand it when I got spanked for not being able to solve a math problem. The only reason for behaving well was just so I could get out of spanking, but even then I behaved bad. After a while I got used to it; I'd cry for a few minutes and forget about it. Then I'd behave bad again.
I didn't get anything out of spanking, it just made me decide that I'd never do that when I had my own kids. I only changed how I was (years later) by finding a role model to follow, not through spanking.
(spanking isn't that bad compared to the beatings I've witnessed, but I still don't like it.)