*takes a deep breath* XD OK, here I go. XD Sorry if I sound strange. I'll try to be as clear as possible. :B
Antaeus wrote:
We have to define sexuality. Is sexuality just a preference in sex, just a preference in love or a preference in both sex and love? As far as I know, sexuality is a preference in both love and sex.
Human sexual behaviour or different human sexual practices encompass wide range of activities such as the search for a partner or partners, interactions between individuals, physical OR emotional intimacy, AND sexual contact.
To many(most) people, sex and gender are the same thing. And to most people, sexuality means that who you fall in love with, you have sex with. But for some people know this is not the case.
Let me put an example we all know: Gackt. He claims in his autobio that he can only fall in love with other men but they're NG for sex. He says he prefers women in that sense.
Now I know I'm going to crush the hearts of many skeptic fans who wish Gackt bonked You(You not you. XD) or Hyde on the side but this can actually happen.
Granted I don't see this distinction made much outside the asexual community but what I'd call gackt would be a Homoromantic, Heterosexual individual(meaning he falls in love with men but is only sexually attracted to women).
What am I getting to? I mean that sexuality may encompass but not always the entirety of your situation and falling in love with one gender doesn't always mean you'd have sex with them. :-* (and viceversa - having sex with one gender doesn't mean you can fall in love with them. Kinda like men having sex in jail just for release).
Antaeus wrote:
Asexuality, which exactly means non-sexuality, means not having the need for all parts of sexuality. So, no interest in love or sex with anyone.
To give you a plus, I thought this way too upon finding the term asexual. I thought this could be my answer for "I do not partake in relationships NOR have interest in sex!" but upon meeting a wide variety of asexuals on the internet, I found out that the "aromantic" tag becomes important because asexuality encompasses such a big amount of people that come from all walks of life that within the community, differentiations are needed, somehow.
So to aswer you comment: No, asexuality may mean that you don't have sexual desires(not at all. This varies among the asexual you may be speaking to) this doesn't mean they don't crave the mental connectivity of a "partner" nor does it mean that they don't have silly crushes or even fall in love.
Antaeus wrote:
Relationships based on only love(or only sex) are doomed to fail. A relationship needs both to work. In the case of love, I agree it is incredibly romantic, but eventually the sexual frustation(of ignoring the sexual attraction) will lead to cheating, or eventually still having sex. And well..in the case of only a sexual relationship, it may grow into a normal relationship, or they just stop having sex.
I know its hard to believe but its perfectly OK and possible to have a deep & meaningful relationship with someone without having sex.
First of all, you mentiong "sexual frustration" but remember the couple could be asexual on both parties.
When one of the partners isn't asexual, you work out those problems and of course, if you don't mind polyamory or polygamy your partner could always go find sex somewhere else(I know at least two couples who are polyamorous and this works out for them).
In the end, I guess it depends of how much you DO love that person and how much you're willing to try for him/her/zir/whatever.
Antaeus wrote:
The problem is that a lot of people just stick the term asexuality on them without beeing it biologically. Ignoring attraction and sexuality is something different than actually being asexual biologically. Of course, if you think I am not describing asexuality, then just stick some other term on it. Not that it matters much.
We do not
ignore any sexual desires, we don't get them.
When you suppress or willingly ignore your sexual desires you're practicing CELIBACY.
Many, many asexuals
aren't virgins and (sadly for them) most celibates are not in any way asexual.
As for the "no boyfriend=lesbian" thing only happens to me with my family, cuz they're complete ass-hats and they must think I'm a dyke or something.
I have friends who've known me since middle school and know that I've never glanced at someone in THAT WAY so they know I'm not crazy when I say I'm asexual. In fact, I've seldom experienced the reject some asexuals get when coming out to their friends.
Guess I'm lucky.
(Gender is anoooooother whole issue thou -_-)
--k