The Sexuality Poll

Which BEST describes you? (You freak...)

  • Straight (male)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Gay (male)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Bisexual (male)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Thought I was straight, but Mana's kind of got me wondering (bi-curious male)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Straight (female)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Gay (female)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Bisexual (female)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Thought I was straight, but Mana's kind of got me wondering (bi-curious female)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Not sure yet. I'll have to get back to you on this one...

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
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navate

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Iskanderia wrote:
*Obviously there are times though when words alone can be damaging in their own way. Hitler's speeches against the Jews, for example, were damaging because they went beyond being just empty words by illiciting anti-semitic behavior in the German populace. Fortunately for all of us, most people we talk to don't have this kind of power
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwins_Law ;)

But to address the larger point of your post, I only agree in part--while people do need to be less offended about thing (the PC trend is growing tired), it's a give and take situation. People also need to be aware of what is considered offensive, and conduct themselves in an appropriate manner. Tact, and all that.

What is or is not offensive changes depending on the situation. In this situation it's got less to do with offensiveness than it does with appropriateness, with scape being an all-ages board that doesn't allow crude discussions/comments towards people.
 

Halvorc

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If you follow the rules of phpBB, all users here should be over 13. :)

By the way, I think humor may be a just simpler way to make horrors 'pass', sometimes. Like Pierre Desproges (R.I.P.) said... *edit*

To the question, "Can you laugh at everything?" French humorist Pierre Desproges replied, in an almost definitive fashion: "You can laugh at everything, but not with everyone." The question, which smells of a philosophical dissertation, is regularly posed in the French public debate, and "not so funny" stories sometimes lead to court proceedings.
Pierre Siankowski
, journalist on the cultural magazine Les Inrockuptibles

While French legislation is fairly tolerant about comedy, which enjoys, like any art form, the primacy given to "freedom of expression" in the Constitution, it still must be able to show that it is indeed a question of freedom of speech, at the risk of being taken to court for "slander" or "defamation".

"You can laugh at anything, yes, provided it’s funny"
, one could say. That is the challenge, and it is a sizeable one. For, at a time of crises of identity, society’s increasing readiness to sue and the triumph of "political correctness" &emdash; which has the particular merit of sensitising opinion to the problem of discrimination &emdash; comedy, like any other form of expression, is subject to strong pressures.

Does laughing necessarily imply poking fun, pointing the finger or stigmatising someone? Can comedy only work at someone else’s expense along the lines of the famous "custard pie" gag? Legally, the boundary between "funny" and "not funny" is very difficult to establish, that is a certainty. What makes some laugh leaves others cold, or even offends them. Like classic tragedy, comedy must be able to obey the unities of time and place: "You can laugh at anything, but not anywhere or any time" one could suggest. But as well as the importance of the place and climate &emdash; of tension &emdash; in which jokes are made, it is above all the subtlety of the comedy and the atmosphere that make the difference, that legitimise the humour, even the cheekiest.

When Desproges mimics Adolf Hitler, when Coluche sends up police officers, when Valérie Lemercier shows her breasts on stage or when the very popular Jamel Debbouze overtly has a dig at Bernadette Chirac, the boundaries may be crossed, from a strictly legal point of view, but everyone laughs with them. A question of talent? A question primarily of intention, for these comics are constantly searching for a universal and inclusive form of comedy. Sometimes very acid and adept at flirting with the boundaries, performers like Coluche and Desproges have always succeeded in protecting themselves, perhaps by thinking of comedy as a "wish to laugh together", a way of putting that would undoubtedly have startled them. Nonetheless, this sums up a wish not to exclude, to think of humour as something that brings people together, something for which the law then has an intense respect. For what is certain is that when it sets everyone laughing, comedy is protected from everything and everybody. "You can laugh at anything, but on condition that everyone laughs", would thus be one part of the response, but one that would certainly not have pleased Pierre Desproges.
 

Iskanderia

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navate wrote:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwins_Law ;)
I don't think this really works here because: "it applies to inappropriate, inordinate, or hyperbolic comparisons of other situations (or one's opponent) with Hitler or Nazis," which I wasn't doing.
navate wrote:
In this situation it's got less to do with offensiveness than it does with appropriateness, with scape being an all-ages board that doesn't allow crude discussions/comments towards people.
True. I keep forgetting this because I'm not used to being on anything but an all-adult forum. On the other hand, I doubt any teenager these days would be warped by this kind of adult conversation.
 

flowersofnight

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I'd still insist on a certain level of decorum and general decency here even if this were an adults-only forum. That's just the kind of place we try to run here.

Anyway, let's try to get this one back on-topic, shall we?
 

CookieMoses

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NO ONE IS STRAIGHT!! :lol:

I work for the Pub. Believe me, every "straight" man I know wants to take me into the bathroom. ::meev::
 

Berserk

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^^Well then you must be extremely attractive. Good for you.

I can totally appreciate male beauty, but I'm straight and have never had the slightest inclination to "take [one] into the bathroom".
 

Antaeus

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Sumire_hitsugi wrote:
Asexual (lacking desire for sex) female. :|

wow, don't be so negative about it. Being asexual isn't that bad. It also has a lot of great things. For example, having the ability to judge about males and females equally, and not all the stress that comes with attraction, love etc.(secretly I kinda desire to be asexual myself, hah).

however, I believe no one is completely asexual. Perhaps only a lack of interest in love. Which is something different than not being attracted to a gender.

lacking a desire for sex is also something different than being asexual.

I am a straight male.
 

Cerceaux

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Since this finally got resurrected and I never had a chance to post in it...
I am a straight female. I like pretty men and I am attracted to feminine beauty, but I feel no sexual attraction toward females. (I also want to note that I liked pretty men well before my Jrock fixation began, so it seems to be a natural preference)

Oddly enough, people always seem to think I'm a lesbian when they meet me in person. I asked someone about that once, and she said it was because I am tall, fairly attractive, and not very social. In other words, people assume that, because I don't have a boyfriend and I don't associate with males very often, I must be a lesbian. ::hora::
 

faith

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@ cookie - perhaps you work in a gay pub where people roleplay straight guys.

Antaeus wrote:
wow, don't be so negative about it. Being asexual isn't that bad. It also has a lot of great things. For example, having the ability to judge about males and females equally, and not all the stress that comes with attraction, love etc.(secretly I kinda desire to be asexual myself, hah).

however, I believe no one is completely asexual. Perhaps only a lack of interest in love. Which is something different than not being attracted to a gender.

lacking a desire for sex is also something different than being asexual.

I am a straight male.

Um...I think I have to disagree with everything you said XD
First, that didn't seem negative. Secondly...

Just because one isn't physically attracted to anybody doesn't mean that people won't be attracted to THEM.
...so even if you're assexual, you'll always have to keep in mind the possiblity of physical attraction.
Plus, there are non physical male/female differences in ways of thinking that will always be present and can't be ignored.
It might even make things HARDER at times to be asexual...

Going further...

Asexual = not interested in other people sexually, regardless of whether or not they are female or male.
Someone can be assexual and still want a relationship based on love, just not sex.
In fact, I personally think relationships based on love rather than physical attraction hold the potential to be deeper than ones where physical attraction IS present.
And then who knows? If you see sex as something that is done out of lust then that's one thing, but if it's something that's done to get closer to another person then someone could be completely asexual and still end up having sex.

At least those are my thoughts :)

EDT: And I don't think people are usually attracted to a "gender" so much as a "body type". Not to say that they aren't though, but then they're bi.
 

KK

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Antaeus wrote:
wow, don't be so negative about it. Being asexual isn't that bad. It also has a lot of great things. For example, having the ability to judge about males and females equally, and not all the stress that comes with attraction, love etc.(secretly I kinda desire to be asexual myself, hah).

however, I believe no one is completely asexual. Perhaps only a lack of interest in love. Which is something different than not being attracted to a gender.

lacking a desire for sex is also something different than being asexual.
Huh? Could you possibly elaborate more? I'm really curious...how would you define asexual? And what makes you think that no one is?

Just yesterday I was thinking I should have myself neutered (like they do to cats...) so that I wouldn't always be feeling attraction for guys, but then I wondered if that would even solve the real problem, which I think is based as much on loneliness as sexual attraction (though it's definitely both) I honestly can't possibly imagine being asexual, but it does seem like overall it would be more difficult just because it's so different from what's "normal" or usual.

I do think people are attracted to gender though, cuz of pheremones and stuff. I could be wrong though.
 

MorganIvy

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KK wrote:
I do think people are attracted to gender though, cuz of pheremones and stuff. I could be wrong though.

I could never quite grasp that a person might be attracted to just one gender though.. I think that everyone is bi but some people just don't know it yet :P

Seriously, I can't grasp it.
 

Jae

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MorganIvy wrote:
I could never quite grasp that a person might be attracted to just one gender though.. I think that everyone is bi but some people just don't know it yet :P

Seriously, I can't grasp it.

I feel the same way. I can't fathom only being attracted to one gender. ::gaku::
 

faith

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...?

I didn't know gender is connected to pheromones O_o
That's interesting too. Can you elaborate? :)

But either way, I don't know too many people who say "I'll only like girls who are girls and boys who are girls"....so I figured whether someone's male or female physically is more important. Of course their level of feminity or masculinity would factor in too, but it's not the end-all.
For example: Someone who based their attraction on gender would only like, say, women and transgendered men.
It usually doesn't happen that I know of.


PS. If my criticism seemed a little rigid it's because there IS a set term for being asexual, and it's literally "doesn't feel physical attraction towards men or women." Here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

I've finally figured out that's what I am so...and I can love and it has nothing to do with it.
 

sailorKa

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:) I don't know what all the fuzz is about.

I identify as asexual(thou I appreciate the aesthetic beauty of men more often than females....) so I recommend the Asexual Visibility and Education Network(AVEN): www.asexuality.org/ ^_^
Its true that one can love while being asexual(and this is, in fact, the case of most asexuals I've met on the LJ comyu) but I also identify as aromantic, which means I don't hold any interest in romantic relationships, be there sex or not. Just as I've never felt the urge to have sex, I've never had the urge to be with someone, nor have I had crushes I can talk about...
But its TRUE that despite being asexual, people still may feel attracted to you. In my case its annoying because of my gender identification(...) but to most asexuals its not like this is the end of the world.

Also, faith-chan, I'm glad to hear you identify with that as well! ^^
You should join the asex comyu up in LJ and we shall bounce around there for a while. ^^
Its full of wonderful people. :D

EDIT:
faith wrote:
For example: Someone who based their attraction on gender would only like, say, women and transgendered men.
It usually doesn't happen that I know of.
But men, despite being transgendered, are MEN. Its another gender different from "women", nay? Perhaps I didn't understand your point ::kozi:: *stuuupid*
[/EDIT]


...Maybe I didn't answer any of the questions/doubts people had. XD
Ask again and I'll try to answer them too to ym best capacities. :B

--k
 

Antaeus

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faith wrote:
@ cookie - perhaps you work in a gay pub where people roleplay straight guys.

Antaeus wrote:
wow, don't be so negative about it. Being asexual isn't that bad. It also has a lot of great things. For example, having the ability to judge about males and females equally, and not all the stress that comes with attraction, love etc.(secretly I kinda desire to be asexual myself, hah).

however, I believe no one is completely asexual. Perhaps only a lack of interest in love. Which is something different than not being attracted to a gender.

lacking a desire for sex is also something different than being asexual.

I am a straight male.

Um...I think I have to disagree with everything you said XD
First, that didn't seem negative. Secondly...

Just because one isn't physically attracted to anybody doesn't mean that people won't be attracted to THEM.
...so even if you're assexual, you'll always have to keep in mind the possiblity of physical attraction.
Plus, there are non physical male/female differences in ways of thinking that will always be present and can't be ignored.
It might even make things HARDER at times to be asexual...

Going further...

Asexual = not interested in other people sexually, regardless of whether or not they are female or male.
Someone can be assexual and still want a relationship based on love, just not sex.
In fact, I personally think relationships based on love rather than physical attraction hold the potential to be deeper than ones where physical attraction IS present.
And then who knows? If you see sex as something that is done out of lust then that's one thing, but if it's something that's done to get closer to another person then someone could be completely asexual and still end up having sex.

At least those are my thoughts :)

EDT: And I don't think people are usually attracted to a "gender" so much as a "body type". Not to say that they aren't though, but then they're bi.

Uhm where to start..

We have to define sexuality. Is sexuality just a preference in sex, just a preference in love or a preference in both sex and love? As far as I know, sexuality is a preference in both love and sex.

However, we can see love and sex as seperate things(some people have sex without love, and some people feel love without a sexual relationship). Therefore, being able to love someone doesn't mean you will be able to have sex with it, and the other way around, being able to have sex with someone doesn't mean you are able to love that person.

Asexuality, which exactly means non-sexuality, means not having the need for all parts of sexuality. So, no interest in love or sex with anyone.

Relationships based on only love(or only sex) are doomed to fail. A relationship needs both to work. In the case of love, I agree it is incredibly romantic, but eventually the sexual frustation(of ignoring the sexual attraction) will lead to cheating, or eventually still having sex. And well..in the case of only a sexual relationship, it may grow into a normal relationship, or they just stop having sex.

Being an asexual simply means you aren't capable of falling in love, and you are not able to get excited over sex, or feel physical attraction towards other people. With this definition we cover the entire term "sexuality" and not just the "sex" part of sexuality.

Actually, my views on love are quite pessimistic. I see it as a mental state of blindless and "twisting the truth", so to speak. It feels nice, but it also makes you unbalanced and fragile. Plus the things that a relationship holds. In a relationship you need to make compromises constantly. When you are alone you can do whatever you want without hurting, or blocking your partner. Also, sex is overrated by the media(and perhaps also by your own hormons?). It isn't that great. I never understood the big fuss around it. Because of that, I would prefer to be asexual, because it would make life a lot easier. However, I feel different when I talk to a girl, and I feel attraction when it is a pretty girl or/and an interesting girl. It is biological, not really something that is possible to stop. It does sound nice to experience time with girls the same way as I experience time with guys.

The problem is that a lot of people just stick the term asexuality on them without beeing it biologically. Ignoring attraction and sexuality is something different than actually being asexual biologically. Of course, if you think I am not describing asexuality, then just stick some other term on it. Not that it matters much.

faith wrote:
...?

I didn't know gender is connected to pheromones O_o
That's interesting too. Can you elaborate? :)

But either way, I don't know too many people who say "I'll only like girls who are girls and boys who are girls"....so I figured whether someone's male or female physically is more important. Of course their level of feminity or masculinity would factor in too, but it's not the end-all.
For example: Someone who based their attraction on gender would only like, say, women and transgendered men.
It usually doesn't happen that I know of.


PS. If my criticism seemed a little rigid it's because there IS a set term for being asexual, and it's literally "doesn't feel physical attraction towards men or women." Here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

I've finally figured out that's what I am so...and I can love and it has nothing to do with it.

I don't really care about what wikipedia says, simply because it isn't such a reliable source. And as I said, if asexuality is the wrong term I am using, feel free to find a better term for it.

There are also man and female personallities. Just like there are man and female bodies. So it is not only physical.
 

faith

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Ah, okay. I see where you're coming from now.
Thank you for clearing that up :grin:

EDT: But it does matter what you call it. What you're talking about really doesn't seem to be asexuality, and so the original statement you made wasn't about it either.
We're talking about 2 different things.

sailorKa wrote:
But men, despite being transgendered, are MEN. Its another gender different from "women", nay? Perhaps I didn't understand your point ::kozi:: *stuuupid*

Nah, you got it XD
That post mainly elaborated on the idea that people can be attracted to "gender" in the defined sense of what it means to have "gender".
The point was that being attracted to "gender" is completely different from being attracted to the sex of a person.

I feel the same way that you do; even if a man identifies himself as "female" in terms of gender his horomones and even the way his brain connects will be different.
Never mind that he will have a lot of different cultural experiences growing up.
...I was being passive on that though, since I'm not transgendered and I've heard that some people who are really DO consider themselves female.
I didn't want to offend ;)

Perhaps I will join the community.
(it doesn't mean I have no interest in having sex though XD
Its just more....situational and stuff and...you know? *lol*
This isn't the place for that)
 

Ningyo.Mana

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I'm male and bisexual...whenever people ask me why, I simply tell them that I'm attracted to both genders, however I could never emotionally be with a woman, only on a physical and mental level. I do enjoy being in the company of both though, both sexually and otherwise.
 

Garnet in the Eden

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I've never felt the urge to have sex

I understand some people probably are, but I can't imagine never having the desire for sex. I thought that was ONE OF the most important thing imprinted into human brains?
 
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